Bradley Class #1

So last night was our first Bradley Class.  For those of you that don't know Anna has elected to have an all natural birth at a birthing center with midwives rather than a hospital birth.

One of the requirements of the birth center is to take some sort of birthing class (kinda like Lamaze in 2010), and we went for the Bradley Method...AKA Husband Coached Birth.

P.S...Every time I think of the word coach all I can think of is the kids that Anna and I coach in Special Olympics Basketball that constantly scream "Put me in coach...I'm a shooter"!

Anyways...last night was class numero uno and everything was awesome.  We were both having a good time learning with the instructors and the other couple taking the class with us.  We couldn't stop laughing about the facial expressions that women in the 60's were making while giving birth (somehow they were able to contort their faces to resemble some sort of pissed off gorilla, which I think was one of the methods back then).

And then BAM...it hit me like my own fist on my own face...it was time for us to practice this weeks relaxation method


If you don't know me very well, I'm really immature.  Words like cervix still make me giggle.  I'm also very awkward, and nothing makes me more uncomfortable than things like I had to do last night.

Also, this is in no way a rip on the Bradley Method.  Just making fun of myself for how uncomfortable this made me feel.

So...Anna is instructed to lay down on the floor in a comfortable position, and I'm told to touch Anna's left foot.  The instructor tells Anna to make her left foot tense, and I am supposed to say...verbatum.

"This is tense.  This is bad.  This is what we want to avoid during labor".

What I'm thinking in my head..."This is tense.  The fact that I have to say this outloud is making me tense.  Seriously...my forehead is sweating.  And I think my hands just got clammy.  Aren't you glad I'm touching your barefoot?  Doesn't it feel good...kind of like the touch from a corpse"?

Now, the instructor tells Anna to relax her left foot, and I am supposed to say...verbatum.

"This is relaxed.  This is good.  This is what we want during labor".

What I'm thinking in my head..."I'm not relaxed.  I literally just saw a bead of sweat drop off my head and hit your nice pillow that you let us borrow (since we forgot to bring ours)".

During this entire practice I was also supposed to be massaging/rubbing her foot.  The thing is, I'm pretty sure that my hands were very cold and sweaty, and that my massage type motions felt more like twitches, yanking, and jerking.

This week we're supposed to do this nightly on different parts of her body, and here's my fear. 

By the time I can do this without feeling so weird, the week will be over, and next week will be a new method that will push my limits of uncomfortableness (I can't believe that was a word...I thought I was making it up) to the point that I will want a complete strangers fist to punch my own face.

Week number 1...only 11 more to go!