The Leave Behind

Every year, as I take stock of the upcoming year, there are a couple days I look forward to the most.  The normal holidays, snow days, and season openers usually make their way to the top of that list, but one I always look forward to is Pre-Thanks Thanksgiving.

When Anna duped me into marrying her (also, impregnating her) one of the greatest things that she brought to the table was the idea that it's kinda sucktown that you don't get to enjoy the best meal of the year without your friends.  Also, with friends you tend to consume adult beverages in heavier quantities, which either leads to more fun, or more fights.  I can't be sure which happens more often because honestly, I don't remember.

Last night was our third annual Pre-Thanks Thanksgiving and it was a blast as usual.

Kendall rocked the turkey (which is the only meat that makes itself into our house every year).  I can also fully testify to the effects of triptophan since my dogs haven't moved for 3 hours after I gave them the turkey Kendall forgot to take with him as a treat.

The sides (always my favorite, and actually the only thing I eat these days) were well above average.  You really can't go wrong with cornbread, green bean casserole, heart attack mashed potatoes, or homemade cranberry sauce.

You'll notice that what wasn't included in the side dishes was sweet potatoes, which somehow ended up on fire (broiler + marshmallows + less than an inch from broiler).

Anna even baked 2 apple pies, which unfortunately no one ate since we were so full.

As our guests trickled out, an event occurred, a happening that I need advice about.  I am forced to turn to the readers of this blog (my mom) for further evaluation.

You know how early in the dating stage the ladies tend to "forget" that they left something at your house...ensuring a rendezvous?  I know you've witnessed that random hair tie that was in the drawer in your bathroom that you haven't opened for 3 years, or the hoody that was behind your washing machine (it was probably your hoody but you can't remember letting her borrow it, plus, it smells like perfume).

In my possession is a kids toy.  I'm pretty sure I know who brought this toy since there was only one kid at Pre-Thanks Thanksgiving.

In my mind, there are only 2 reasons why I would be in possession of this toy.

A)  The parents of the kid would like to hang out more in the future.  They communicated this to us by leaving the toy behind.  This guarantees a future retrieval of the toy, and incidental hanging out.

B)  The toy was in the middle of the table, surrounded by so many beer bottles that no one could see it.  Also, even if it would have been within eye sight, their hands were so full with the kid (and the apple pie we made them take) that it missed the cut.

No one would ever accuse me of optimism, but based on my interactions with the husband, I feel like I've got some pretty sound evidence that A) is the answer.   Think on this.

• I always laugh at his jokes.  Not because I'm being nice, but because they're funny.
• He laughs at mine.  (I think they're funny, but I find myself laughing a lot when no one else is).
• One time I was speaking to the greatness of Journey and out of the corner of my eye I saw him nodding.
• He told me he wouldn't be mad if I said his kid wasn't cute.  This is a non-issue since their kid is actually wicked cute.  Seriously.  I'm going to sign the petition "Ugly Kids Parents Against the Parents of Cute Kids".
• One time I was talking about how much I dislike France, and I saw him twitch (I think in anger).  Without even having to speak I knew that he knew that the French were responsible for:
• Communism
• The word "Bro-Mance"
• Racism
• Manicures/Pedicures
• Nuclear weapons
• France
• Multiple people have told me that if we switched lives our wives wouldn't notice (except the whole thing that I'm "big boned").
• He introduced me to my favorite beverage.  In a moment of panic (people wanted to know what we were drinking) we told them that it was water.  It wasn't water.  It was Verdi.
• My BFF (Best Friend Forever) (Seriously...Forever) was rattled thinking he was about to be replaced.

Wild Turkey = Gobble Gobble = Throw up Face

 Other things to consider before you make your decision.

1)  If they see us again they'll be forced to see my Forest Gump hair cut that Anna made me get.
2)  The Verdi would be guzzled in record breaking fashion by the men, as the women discussed world events. 
3)  We'd force them into taking home another apple pie.

Me...I'm taking A).

Other pics from the night