The Long Con Boom Roasted

For those of you that don't know me, Lost was, and always will be my favorite TV show. My favorites were always the Sawyer-centric episodes. I don't know if there's a cooler accomplishment than the Long Con.

You also probably know that one of my larger daily goals is to Boom Roast as many people as possible.

You don't know what a Boom Roasted is? It's kind of like this.

I say "I think you're really really ugly".
Then you say "That's a really hurtful thing to say".
Then I say "I don't care. Boom Roasted".

That's lame...fine. Click Here for a much better Boom Roasted.

Know what's even cooler? Combining the Long Con with a Boom Roasted.

Here's an example...to date...my best Long Con Boom Roasted.

My little brother got married last June and I figured that since I've been bullying him my whole life I should probably continue the glorious tradition.

A couple months before the wedding he fulfilled his brotherly obligations and asked me to be a Groomsman in his wedding (on a side note, I asked him to actually marry Anna and I, thus one upping him, thus Boom Roasted).

Obviously, I was honored and quickly accepted. Then, I decided to go for my first Long Con Boom Roasted.

The next weekend I had dinner with my parents. As soon as we sat down I put on my most excited face and voice and went on to tell my parents that Ryan had asked me to be his Best Man.

Going in, I knew 3 things.

1) My mom knew that Ryan had not asked me to be his Best Man, and that she would think that I misinterpreted the conversation.

2) There was no way Ryan could ask me to be his best man leaving our other brother Clint as just a Groomsman.

3) There was no way she was going to set me straight...she would leave that duty to Ryan.

One of the harder things I've ever had to do was keep a straight face throughout this process....I had to let it play out.

Obviously, my mom talked to my brother who was shocked and devastated that I had misinterpreted the Groomsman conversation in such a confusing way. He knew he would have to talk to me about it, but in total fear, he avoided the conversation for a while.

Then, I got the call I'd been waiting weeks for.

Ryan - Hey bro...how's it going?
Tyler - Good....you?
Ryan - Good...hey....uh....I've uh got to talk to you about something....it's uh...kinda awkward.
Tyler - Ok....(Anna and I are both almost on the ground at this point)
Ryan - So...uh...did I ask you to be my best man?
Tyler - Yup
Ryan - Oh...well...uh....let me see....ummm the thing is that...
Tyler - Hey Ryan
Tyler - Boom Roasted

Lets just say that to date I haven't come close to doing better. I think I set the bar too high.

The closest I've come was actually this weekend, which I'm sure Anna will write about, and culminated with another bruise on my arm.