Thursday, February 28, 2013

If I Could

Friends,

Tonight I literally said to myself:

"It hasn't been that long since I blogged".  Turns out it's been since November which means I'm way behind.

My commitment to you then loyal readers is a glorious month.

I hereby say "March will be the month of ATONEMENT" (but don't forget this is still February and counts for my once per month commitment).

Also, since I'm in such a rush to get this up there's a good chance that Anna takes this particular post down.

Yup, I'm going rogue people.  No approval.

Anyhow, know how normal guys have a "list"?

A list of those 5 most "kissable" ladies on the planet (and by kiss I mean a "G" rated peck)?

I also have a list...only it's a little bit different.

I don't spend my time day dreaming about smooching Jennifer Aniston or Angelina Jolie.

No, I dream about other things, and that friends what this post is all about.

In descending order, these are the people I most want to fight.

Before I get to the nitty gritty, I feel I should set some ground rules about my list.

1)  It can be anyone in the history of the world
2)  It can be anyone in the history of the fictional world
3)  Societal rules about physical interaction with the elderly or women are OK

Here we go:

5)  Eve

Really?  Thanks a lot.  For a frickin apple?  If it was a chicken wing I'd totally be on your side.

4)  Mr. Belding

Tell me you didn't watch one episode of Saved By The Bell and not want to kick his AZZY.

Seriously, without Belding Saved By The Bell probably lands on HBO.  Think of Entourage on steroids.

Can you even imagine what Morris and Slater would have pulled without Mr. Belding holding them back?

3)  Abraham Lincoln

Listen, I fully agree with you that he's probably the greatest human being in the U. S. of A.'s history.

That friends...is the appeal.

Do you have any idea how much cooler I'd be if I could tell everyone that I opened a can of HOO RAH on Lincoln?

Also, tall gangly dudes with full man beards scream grit so you know you're getting an entertaining brawl.

2)  Mr. Miyagi

Again, a total awe fight.  I know I have no chance but I'd feel the need to try.  It's the same thing as people that continue buying lottery tickets.

Because what if?

1b)  Mariah Carey

Let me say first I'm not even sure she's alive.  There's a good chance she's the beginning of the robot takeover.

In case that's actually true...I've got this.

In case it's not I don't have to explain to you how much she needs to stop talking.


1 comment:

  1. You should have linked your readers directly to Ginny Vinke.

    We shall never forget.

    ReplyDelete